Merry? Christmas
Another Christmas has come and gone. I’m doing so-so. Missing people I considered family. Nothing to be done I guess.
I am thankful for old friends though, without them I probably wouldn’t be here. May God bless them in the new year.
Good and bad
It’s been a rough few weeks. Seems like holidays are always rough when dealing with depression and anxiety.
The thing is, I’m doing better than usual. A friend has been helping me through the days. I am thankful for the people who have given me a helping hand. I know that I’d be in a much darker place without them.
Writing
I’ve tried to write on a regular basis lately. A friend mentioned how difficult that can be when you’re depressed. I tend to agree, although I’ve read books and articles that recommend channeling your feelings into your writing.
I find that to be a sound idea that is much harder to do than it sounds. I don’t want my writing to reflect the sadness and anger I feel on a daily basis. It may be “where I am” right now. But I refuse to let it define who I am. So if I’m quiet here for extended periods, it’s because I don’t want to put my sad, angry, or whiny feelings here. Maybe I’m wrong? I’ve been wrong a lot lately.
Inclusiveness
A great story about inclusiveness. My first-cousin Milo and his daddy are a part of it.
Ugh…
Sad tonight. Feeling worthless. Just putting this here because its what I feel right now.
Doorway
The doorway is open but what lies beyond the threshold I cannot tell. I have but to step over to the other side.
A simple choice to overcome the fear that holds me in place in this world. A small step to move beyond. Difficult as it feels, it really is so simple.
Low
My mind and emotions are betraying me tonight. Sinking pretty low.
Dreams lie
Woke up from a happy dream. Only to realize that what I dreamed wasn’t reality. I am gripped by a sadness now. So hard to shake these things off.
Being Thankful
I’m going through a lot of emotions lately. Not all of them happy or fun. As I keep trying to put my life back together, sometimes unsuccessfully. Jobs are hard to find, I live in an area outside of the civilized world. Much of the time I am isolated, alone, and lonely. I do my best to be productive and move forward as best I can given these circumstances.
Some days I get very down. I find it hard to keep going. I listen to the trains outside my window. Resisting the urge to give up. I try to write on a regular basis, some days it’s all I can do to just get myself out of bed and dressed in the morning. Days like today.
I’m in the process of finding a new doctor to help me cope with all the feelings and internal turmoil I’m dealing with everyday. As I search I try to remind myself to be thankful every day. Thankful for family, friends, and all the things that I sometimes take for granted. I know that if it were not for more than a few of you people I wouldn’t be here anymore. I’m not going to call anybody out. If you know me and what my life has been like, then you know who you are. So let me just say “thank you”, because I know I don’t say it enough. I’m have a lack for words for what you all mean to me and not wanting to get all sappy limits me. But thank you to all of you. I pray things will get better. No idea how right now. But I’m still searching for answers. Thanks to you.
Ad Inserter
